My dear sweet Aunt Mickey

As I lay here tonight, getting ready to drift off to sleep, the warmth of our room and the gentle breeze from our ceiling fan caused a flood of memories to come rushing in, ones I often keep suppressed because it pains me to feel the longing I have for my dear sweet Aunt Mickey.  It brought back to mind the many nights we spent with them in their North Carolina home...my Great Aunt has been more like another Grandma to me, and for years my family and I made multiple trips each year to go see her and my Uncle Gene. Tears streamed down my face as I thought back to the many stories of her childhood on the farm with her beloved sister Alice Anne, my Grandma... I thought of the love she and my Uncle Gene shared, and the countless stories she told of the years they spent raising their family and the trips she and my Uncle had been on. Anyone who knows my Aunt Mickey knew the love she had for telling stories of the past, bringing life back through those dear sweet memories.  Stories I will never hear again on this side of heaven... for the past several years she has been frozen in time, trapped by a disease that viciously steals all traces of who that person was.  I now go to visit her for my sake, for she has forgotten who I am, that I can seem to handle.  It was hard when a few short years ago she began to forget names and seeing the hurt on our son Jesse's face when she was unable to remember his name, he bravely said, "Its okay mom." Last year when we went for a visit, she looked up at Jesse, as we brought him in, and joyfully shouted, "Well Son Of A Gun!", as she saw him and then the moment was gone.  What a gift that was to Jesse, if even it only lasted a moment!  I think the hardest thing though is to watch as my Uncle Gene slowly loses his best friend and soul mate, and the sense of loss he must feel.  I find myself grieving her more on this side of heaven, than if she was actually in heaven...knowing that once she is called home, she will be healed and restored, Hallelujah! I long most for this moment for her to be set free from all of life's hardships.  Even in the midst of these feelings of loss, I find hope that God never allows something to happen without a reason for his greater purpose to take place.  I trust in his promise in Romans 8:28 That God will work all things for the good for those who love him and have been called according to his purpose.  That doesn't mean that everything that happens to us will feel good as it is happening but in the end will be used for good.  Even though this disease has stolen so much from my dear sweet Aunt Mickey, it hasn't stolen her ability to feel love.  When my husband and I visited her in January she held our hands and knew we were people who loved her dearly.  Even if that passes by too, one thing it can not steal is the spirit of God which resides in her heart, for God promises never will he leave us or forsake us.  So until he calls her home I will hold tight to these truths and lovingly await the day when we are reunited in heaven so I can sit with her again and hear those beautiful stories once again.