If I could turn back time...

If I could turn back time…

My heart is heavy with the news of my favorite actor passing away, Robin Williams. I am not saddened by the fact that he was a famous actor who will be missed, I am saddened because even though I did not know him personally he had a profound impact on my life and filled many of my memories with laughter. Even though he did not know me he added so much joy to my life on many occasions through his comedy, and how many lines of his I have used and quoted over the years.  How my heart ached yesterday with the news of his suicide, I thought, please let this be a horrific rumor… oh Robin how I wish I could have told you how valuable you were.  No one knows the struggles a person faces daily, or why some choose to end their own lives. Where is the hope that lies in this God, I cried out, why, I don’t understand why does life have to be so hard?? While I do not know the answers I do know that there is a war between good and evil, and while it may look like Satan wins some battles, Jesus has won the war.  While it may look like death may have defeated a person’s life I have a savior that rose again and understands better than any human can the battles that wage within a person, a savior that is willing to rescue us at any given moment when we cry out to him, even if it’s in our dying breaths. How I wish I could turn back time and had the chance to tell Robin of this hope, that there is savior that loves us in spite of all our shortcomings and failures, that nothing we can do can separate us from his love.  Anyone who has ever lost a loved one this way probably all wished they could turn back time and reassure their loved one of how very much they loved them, how they meant the world to them, how they’d give ANYTHING to have them here again.  Where is the hope, when all seems hopeless? God reminded me of one of my favorite bible lessons, the criminal on the cross found in Luke 23. I believe this is there to teach us that Jesus is our hope in what may seem to be a hopeless situation. Jesus is on the cross and two criminals are beside him, the one who is essentially hanging there dying cries out to Jesus for salvation and how did Jesus respond?? Not... oh if only you were baptized I could have saved you, not... if only you’d come to me sooner I could have saved you, not... if only you would have been a better person I could have saved you...NO! My dear friends when this man used his dying breaths to cry out for his savior Christ responded in verse 43…you will be with me in paradise. So my hope is you don’t know what happens in a person last minutes of life, did they cry out for their savior to rescue them, was it out loud or in their hearts?  I do know, it is not my place to pass judgment on something I cannot understand...someone else’s battle, and neither is it yours. Does suicide make someone a weak person, or a coward, I don’t think so I think it means they were broken and tried desperately to fix themselves with the only means they could understand at that time. We all do things without fully understanding the full effect it may have, and the struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts is a stronger battle than anyone who has not had this battle could ever understand…and just because you are a Christian does not make you exempt from the battle, no in fact Satan fights even harder to bring you down. I think a person like Robin who had a gift to bring joy to others would probably be attacked even more so because Satan can’t stand joy. To anyone who struggles with depression I’d say this, talk about it, share it with others, the more you shed light on the subject the freer you will be, seek the help of a counselor, a pastor, a mentor… it’s okay to get help, to admit our weaknesses. Learn scripture verses and reprogram your mind through the healing word of God. Don’t hide your depression  inside or deny it is there, know you are loved and valued, there is no one else like you and no one else could ever replace you… and no matter how much you have blown it God loves and uses broken people to have a huge impact and he loves you just the way you are.  There is no sin that can separate us from his love and forgiveness. So if I could turn back time I’d remind him of these things. Anyone who is depressed seek help, don't wait, there are many who love you, write down 100 things that you love about yourself, that you are grateful for... I heard this yesterday and loved it: One day a paper will say today I died, Don't believe that for a moment for on that day I will be more alive than I have ever been in this life. ~D. Moody

I have this hope because of Jesus and you can too.