Not everyone is going to like you... and that’s okay

 I read this the other day... “What 3 words of advice would you give to your 18 year old self?” It really stirred my heart as my mind grasped at different bits of wisdom I’ve learned over the years, and while it could never be summed up into 3 measly words, a sound bit of advice I wish I would have understood back then is this...  Not everyone is going to like you, and that’s okay.  As I pen these words my mind thinks of all the time I spent chasing after the wrong relationships. All the time I wasted trying to get the approval of people that didn’t even like themselves. All the times I bent my own standards and tried to become something for someone and pretending to be someone I was never supposed to be. I cringe at some of the memories at best and at worst, I want to crawl under a rock or burry my head in the sand over way too many I’d care to share. Not because I’m embarrassed but because I deserved more. The fact of the matter is I just haven’t been everyone’s cup of tea, I’ve been too loud for some, too upfront and confrontational, too sarcastic, too over-the-top, not smart enough for others, not worthy enough for many, not cool enough, too much of a Christian or not Christian enough, and one of my least favorites is too hurtful... the saying is true wounded people hurt people and I definitely fit into that category. The list could go on but I think you catch my drift. And while I may have severely struggled in the area of people pleasing what I failed to see was the ones I so desperately wanted to fit in with, and find acceptance from... were never worth the time and energy. I had an easy time “winning” them as temporary friends, as  people pleasers often do, however what I failed to see is that they were fair weathered relationships, ones that when I suited their standards well enough, or offered willingly what they wanted they were by my side. However, when life got hard or I ran out of the energy to play their games, they hit the road. One sided relationships are draining and emotionally scaring and I wish I had not wasted so much time chasing after people I couldn’t be my real self around. The friends and relationships that have stood the test of time, that love me for me whether I’m funny, annoying, bitchy or somewhere in between... those are the true treasures. They are my true gems. I’m so thankful for those relationships, for the years of love and support. I read a quote years ago and have treasured it ever since... not everyone is going to like me... that’s okay not everyone matters. I’m thankful for the lessons I’ve learned over the years, and I freely share this wisdom with my kids because at the end of the day I’d rather have a few trusted friends that are raw, real, trusted, and honest then be apart of a pack of vicious wolves that attack and quarrel among themselves to be the alpha among each other.