I wonder how often God watches a wedding with intense pain in His heart. I wonder if he looks at that day and says "How I wish this moment of love and happiness would last from this day forward, like you promised." I wonder if He sees the expiration date we stamp on our divorce papers and weeps. He has the ability to see through all the love, laughter, and amazing memories made that special day into the future of what is now two indifferent people going through a bitter divorce. The laughter has long since vanished, the smiles turned into tears, and the love that was once so precious to this beautiful couple has been turned into intolerance for one another. The words that once ringed with affirmation and affection have been exchanged with cutting words of hatred, discontent, and bitterness. On the day when they exchanged for better or for worse was hidden deep within... "I meant only for the better, I can't handle your worst." Two people who once would have laid down their lives for one another, will not even lay down their phone to see the other person struggling. When indifference and unimportance fills a home it becomes Satan's playground... "Did you see that girl? She understands you better than your wife, maybe you two should have coffee and discuss your problems further?" Or "Your husband is so caught up in his girly magazines he never takes the time to appreciate you, but your boss always values your work, maybe you should go on the business trip he mentioned to you."
Lack of communication with your spouse and sharing your intimate shortcomings at home with the opposite sex is a DANGER ZONE. Long before our thoughts become actions we rehearse the scenes in our minds, beware our thoughts are powerful tools for success or destruction. I wonder if God sees those first stormy nights that divides our hearts against our spouses and wants to yell, "Don't let the sun go down on your anger, don't let the enemy have any territory in your home or your hearts!" I wonder if God tries to whisper to your harden heart, "Remember how beautiful she looked coming down the aisle, remember when she made you laugh and your heart surged with so much joy just seeing her took your breath away?" Or "Remember the first time he told you he loved you, or how he proposed, remember the dreams you had for your future? Don't throw them away." Maybe instead of the traditional, "From this day forward I do... We need to change our vows to from this day forward we chose to remember our love we have for one another." I often encourage couples to each make a list of 25+ things they love about each other and place them in the back of their wedding photo. (so you can find it) Add to it and update it every couple of years, because no matter how good of a marriage you may have, they all will go through intense trials because life happens and this is something you can reflect back on. It helps you to remember why you first said I do. Maybe even included, as a couple, a few dreams you have for the future (a bucket list so to speak of for your marriage) so you can see that you are moving forward together to reach your dreams as a couple. Make a resolution together of why divorce should never be in your vocabulary or future and keep all these things in the back of your "always and forever" wedding photo. Treasure deep within your heart the person God has given you to do life with, because life can beat us up from time to time and what a blessing it is to have someone to share the heartache as well as the joys of life with. From this day forward I choose to be thankful for who you are and love you despite of your failures.
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