A peace that surpasses all understanding

A peace that surpasses all understanding in uncertain times...
6’ apart and face masks are terms that are sweeping across the world as this world wide pandemic has ignited these past few months and has just started here in the US over the past few weeks. Fear and worry of the unknown has spread like wildfire and yet I have felt a peace unlike any before, through it all.  A peace that truly surpasses all understanding and I wanted to share why.
For many people 6’ feet apart, self quarantine, or having to wear masks are new concepts of trying to keep yourself and the ones you love germ free... however for the past 11 years this has been a reality for our family, maybe not to the full extent that the world is experiencing it right now, but in many ways we have lived this and maybe this is why I have peace now, because God has taught me something through our own personal journey, and I thought by sharing our story it may help others too.
The fear of not knowing who is sick and carrying the virus has resulted in the recommendation of social distancing and remaining 6’ apart in public to slow the spread of the coronavirus. This has been a way of living for us not because of the virus but because our daughter has chronic disease called cystic fibrosis... a disease in which they can transfer bacteria to each other that can cause lung damage and so as a result the doctors recommend all CF patients to social distance and remain 6’ apart. In fact CF patients are recommended not to have any interaction at all. Appointments result in wearing masks in the hope that bacteria is not spread through the air so that their lung function may be preserved.  As her mom I frantically try my best to keep her healthy and to protect her from invisible bacteria that could be anywhere because many CF patients look perfectly normal and show no visual signs that they have it outwardly and so when we are shopping, or at restaurants, or playgrounds, or on vacations... I really have no idea who she is in contact with that may have it as well. As a result I’ve been unknowingly fearful to the point where it almost completely paralyzed me. I had panic attacks that made me feel like I was having a heart attack, and had fear so strong my whole body literally went numb. I’ve shook uncontrollably like I was freezing to death.  Fear has literally made me sick and even worse as a strong
Jesus loving Christian I have felt like an utter and total failure because of my lack of faith.  As a result I wore a mask for a long time because I didn’t want my kids or my family to know how truly scared I was.  I’m strong in so many areas but if Satan wanted to hurt me one of the few ways to do it would be through my children, so when I felt powerless as to how to fully protect her, it left me wide open for an enemy attack. Maybe perhaps some of you are feeling these same fears I was...
Thoughts like...
 How are you going to provide for your families and pay your bills while being out of work? What if you get this virus or infect others with it? I wonder who I know will die from this? I know so many people that fit into the vulnerable or compromised health category and it’s natural to be concerned but don’t let fear rule your life like I did.  A few years ago I had a dream that God used to really help set me free. In the dream our daughter was playing at a playground and as young kids often do, she had made a best friend instantly with a little girl there. It was so innocent and pure, they were laughing and having the time of their lives, the next thing I seen them share a drink and the little girl started coughing and her mom turned to me and said she had CF and in a moment everything I had worked so hard to protect her from came crashing down around me. I woke up in a panic with my heart pounding as I realized as much I love my baby girl I cannot protect her from everything. As much as I wanted to think I could control or protect her I’m not in control. God spoke so tenderly to me that night. He showed me I was trying to be something for our beautiful girl that he never called me to be... I was trying, unknowingly, to be her savior and it was destroying me. All the fear of the unknown, all of the what if’s, all of the false sense of control was leaving me in a tale-spin, as I was trying to protect her from invisible germs. Only Jesus can fulfill that role in her life and be her savior, no matter how much I want to protect her, that was simply beyond my control. In that moment much like Abraham had to do with his beloved son Isaac, trusting that God had a bigger purpose for him and would come through, I laid her at his feet and surrendered my control of her life and trusted that God loved her more than I ever possibly could and trusted that he can see the whole picture, so come what may he knows what is best for her, and for all of us. In that dream I realized I could never fully protect my daughter no matter how much I wanted to, or how pure my motives are and I had to trust that only Jesus can be her one true savior. Only God knows the number of her days for they were written in the book of life before one of them came to be.  See Psalm 139:16
No amount of worry can add a single hour to her life.  See Matthew 6:27.
So when this virus swept the world by surprise God’s peace had already done such a work in my life that I know from years of him showing me,  He’s got her, and I can let go of my control and trust in His plans, and I really and truly have a peace that surpasses all understanding that will GUARD my heart and my mind. See Philippians 4:6-7 It’s not that I don’t understand the severity of the situation at hand but rather my heart and mind is washed in God’s peace in knowing that he is faithful, he is who he says he is, and he is in control come whatever may unfold from this pandemic, we as believers in Christ have an advantage, we know the end of our story here is not the end of the story... amen! Jesus said  “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
Yes, God does give us wisdom. I always tell people when explaining our situation with our daughter... do you buckle your little kids in a car seat or do you just throw them in the car unbuckled and say God has them? To some extent we all try to protect our kids through wisdom and car seats but ultimately God has us. So during this time use Godly wisdom but don’t allow fear to creep in and take control.
One last thing I want to touch on that forever changed how I pray... when our daughter was little every night I’d pray and sing over her for God to heal her, and one night he so tenderly spoke to my mama heart and said to me, “You know you pray more for her physical healing than her salvation which one will last longer?” I believe God can heal but I also believe he can use what even the devil means for harm in our lives for his greater good. I believe it with every ounce within me that no sickness or disease that shall ever befall upon us will ever have the pleasure of stealing one of our days that God has planned for us and that God will not call us home until his purpose for our lives is complete in him.  May God’s peace protect you and always remember 2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
May God’s voice in your life be louder than your fears. Because his perfect love drives out fear.